I took a sip from the golden glass and tried to ignore all the noise coming from the parlour where the men's party was being held. I was hosting my own mini-party with my girls, but it was more dignified. You know, the popcorn and chips kinda party; while they had drums of heavy beers and chunks of meat.
"I really envy your position," said Leah, one of the girls sitting across the room from me.
" You are so powerful. It must be fun being queen." She was gazing at the gorgeous crown on my head with widened eyes.
Well, I used to look at it that way too, the first days. I've lost the adoration somewhere within the cracks of a damaged kingdom.
I faked a smile. I wasn't about to tell her of all the nights I sit in bed listening for the King's footsteps, hearing them pass my room to the concubines'. The times I wish I could push apart the gigantic doors of his throne room and disrupt the countless hours he spends judging silly cases instead of building a family with me. It sounds selfish but seriously I've heard them argue about horses all afternoon in there.
This palace is massive, sometimes it takes days without me setting an eye on him. My own husband. The King.
I took another sip of the grape juice. Then i gulped it all down and asked the butler to refill the glass. I honestly wished the juice had been fermented even just a little. There were loud noises from the parlor, so loud the girls had to stop their conversations for a while. I rolled my eyes. It wasn't the first time I was hearing these drunken voices.
Then one of the King's servants stepped onto the doorway of our room and requested to enter with a respectful bow. I motioned my hand to one of my servants to get the message from him.
"Your majesty," she said, " The king requests your presence in the parlour."
I looked up to the servant at the door and asked him, "Why did he summon me?"
"Uhm, your majesty, the other officials in the party would like you to uhh.. parade before them."
"I'm sorry, what?!" I almost gave that ratchetly loud laugh that's like 'who the hell do they think they are?' but then i remembered I'm the Queen soo...etiquette.
He kept his head bowed low.
I straightened the crown on my head, to affirm my authority and to adjust it, that thing was heavy.
"Go tell the King, and whoever else is in there, that I will not be setting my foot into that filthy party with all those reckless drunkards. No. Not today."
Eyes were shot at me. Even the servant lifted up his face in surprise.
"What are you still waiting for?"
He gave me that 'are you really sure you want me to tell that to the king?' stare and even though my heart beat was beggining to betray my fake bravery, I kept my face straight.
"Just tell him I will not be able to come," I said.
He strode away.
The King has such a nerve though! Yes I am his wife but what on earth is that about?! He would parade me in front of all those men with absolutely no shame?!
There was an air of silence in our room. And then came the loud, angry grunts from the parlour. I couldn't make out what they were saying but the intoxicated men sure were mad. For about fifteen minutes I sat there, wondering what was going on.
"She is not fit to be Queen!" someone shouted, followed by choral grunts in agreement.
"The queen has not only done you wrong, your honour, but all of us here. We cannot be led by such a stubborn queen, our wives may use this as an excuse to disobey us," an all-so familiar voice said. He had never liked me, for reasons that elude me. And now here he was taking out the frustrations piled by a disobedient wife on me. Go home, Memucan.
"Silence!" I heard my husband's voice say. My heart skipped a beat or two. "Queen Vashti will come before me no more." He said, his voice cold as ice, and as emotionless as his eyes had been the last time I saw him.
My jaw literally dropped. I froze for a while. Are you kidding me? Did you love me at all?
So our marriage is decided by these lunatics here? Alright. Okay.
I held back some rage as a hoard of servants stormed into my room. Not only did they just budge in, they had their armour on! Like what was I going to attack you with? Lipgloss?
"The king said..."
"I heard him!"
I slowly rose up to my feet, letting the soldiers know I was aware I was being kicked out. I took the crown from my head. I was so tempted to toss it on the floor but I just gently placed it on the table, somewhat relieved to get rid of all that weight.
The rest of the girls in the room were struck with shock on their faces.
(Based on the book of Esther, chapter 1)
"I really envy your position," said Leah, one of the girls sitting across the room from me.
" You are so powerful. It must be fun being queen." She was gazing at the gorgeous crown on my head with widened eyes.
Well, I used to look at it that way too, the first days. I've lost the adoration somewhere within the cracks of a damaged kingdom.
This palace is massive, sometimes it takes days without me setting an eye on him. My own husband. The King.
I took another sip of the grape juice. Then i gulped it all down and asked the butler to refill the glass. I honestly wished the juice had been fermented even just a little. There were loud noises from the parlor, so loud the girls had to stop their conversations for a while. I rolled my eyes. It wasn't the first time I was hearing these drunken voices.
Then one of the King's servants stepped onto the doorway of our room and requested to enter with a respectful bow. I motioned my hand to one of my servants to get the message from him.
"Your majesty," she said, " The king requests your presence in the parlour."
I looked up to the servant at the door and asked him, "Why did he summon me?"
"Uhm, your majesty, the other officials in the party would like you to uhh.. parade before them."
"I'm sorry, what?!" I almost gave that ratchetly loud laugh that's like 'who the hell do they think they are?' but then i remembered I'm the Queen soo...etiquette.
He kept his head bowed low.
I straightened the crown on my head, to affirm my authority and to adjust it, that thing was heavy.
"Go tell the King, and whoever else is in there, that I will not be setting my foot into that filthy party with all those reckless drunkards. No. Not today."
Eyes were shot at me. Even the servant lifted up his face in surprise.
"What are you still waiting for?"
He gave me that 'are you really sure you want me to tell that to the king?' stare and even though my heart beat was beggining to betray my fake bravery, I kept my face straight.
"Just tell him I will not be able to come," I said.
He strode away.
The King has such a nerve though! Yes I am his wife but what on earth is that about?! He would parade me in front of all those men with absolutely no shame?!
There was an air of silence in our room. And then came the loud, angry grunts from the parlour. I couldn't make out what they were saying but the intoxicated men sure were mad. For about fifteen minutes I sat there, wondering what was going on.
"She is not fit to be Queen!" someone shouted, followed by choral grunts in agreement.
"The queen has not only done you wrong, your honour, but all of us here. We cannot be led by such a stubborn queen, our wives may use this as an excuse to disobey us," an all-so familiar voice said. He had never liked me, for reasons that elude me. And now here he was taking out the frustrations piled by a disobedient wife on me. Go home, Memucan.
"Silence!" I heard my husband's voice say. My heart skipped a beat or two. "Queen Vashti will come before me no more." He said, his voice cold as ice, and as emotionless as his eyes had been the last time I saw him.
My jaw literally dropped. I froze for a while. Are you kidding me? Did you love me at all?
So our marriage is decided by these lunatics here? Alright. Okay.
I held back some rage as a hoard of servants stormed into my room. Not only did they just budge in, they had their armour on! Like what was I going to attack you with? Lipgloss?
"The king said..."
"I heard him!"
I slowly rose up to my feet, letting the soldiers know I was aware I was being kicked out. I took the crown from my head. I was so tempted to toss it on the floor but I just gently placed it on the table, somewhat relieved to get rid of all that weight.
The rest of the girls in the room were struck with shock on their faces.
Amazingly, I didn't feel hurt. Just superficially. I must've been numb to everything. Maybe I would cry my eyes out alone somewhere realising I just lost an entire kingdom, and room service. Or, maybe not. I actually have the strength to say I'm okay with seeing another woman, with a more tolerant heart, take my place. I hope she'll warm up his heart to love again.
I don't need this crown here to validate my queenship. So, for now, i'll walk away. Disappointed, but with my dignity intact.
