Fear of standing alone

For a very long time, i felt a doubtful echo resound with each time i said 'I' objectively. I like, I want, I am... A thought in my head would be like 'you who?' And for a while i thought i had about 67% of the answer to that question figured out. But i probably just had 7%.

There are some celebrities so significant that the colour of their toothbrush matters. They step out of the house wearing a white t-shirt and it becomes news. I've always thought it's much easier for such people to refer to themselves with a stronger 'I'. They seem to have their identities all figured out. I knew that I'm a child of God okay, and everything else the Bible tells me I am, I guess I just took it like every other Christian out there confesses these same things so where's the uniqueness in that? We are the salt and the light of the world, but who am I as an individual?

When it resonated to me that 'I am' is God Himself, the sacredness of those two letters dawned on me. And now I can say 'I am beautiful' without wincing or mincing around to see if you think so too. You don't have to. Fear had me seated for way too long. Telling me if I stood up my voice would be a lil' weak, accent weird, words meaningless, looks unappealing. For every ounce of energy i got to rise up, there'd be a tonne of negativity to sit me back down. Girl, step out the boat, you can walk on water too. Never mind the raging sea beneath your feet, oh look at that; it may be raging but it's 'beneath' your feet. Ha.

There's something strong about not needing other people to tick in the boxes of my own values. Something boss about not needing validation. If I have one nod from God, I'm good.

The decisions I make now may influence whether I live an ordinary or extraordinary life. When I read back on this post in the future, I want to smile and feel proud for being brave enough to stand alone and be the light that I am. If I wait for another's light to brighten mine up, I may never know how much of a difference my own would have made. Brave. Aunthentic. I Am.  I won't wait to say 'thank you' to compliments before consolidating my own view of myself.

I am all that God says I am; the written word, the spoken word, all of it. I am the Salt and the Light of the world.
I Am.
These words i read in a Myles Munroe book when i was in high school stand solid:
I am one, but I am only one
I cannot do everything, but I can do something.
What I can do, I ought to do
And what I ought to do, by the grace of God I will do.
Fear, bye.

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